Tuesday, February 27, 2007

The Euro English

More of those weird e-mail forwards :-)


The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl

6 comments:

Tim Rice said...

This has been going around for quite a while. But it's humorous nevertheless! :)

Hope you are doing well!

Jas B said...

As humorous as ever! I have a friend from Germany and she actually sounds like this when she speaks english! :)

Sarad said...

Mr. Tim: I got this one last week. Glad you like it.

Jas: You have a first hand experience.Haha. I had difficulty once following the english of a chinese friend. had to get him speak it over, twice or even thrice. Poor chap.

Anonymous said...

that was just funny : ) first time i've seen it.

Chica, Cienna, and Cali said...

haha!!! I was taught by a Chinese professor once and I cud never get past the first sentence.......... ..hilarious, really!!!

Sarad said...

Nabiy: Me too, first time.

Moi: I can imagine :)